Hermione's Alphabet
by WorldRuler
Summary: Hesitations on the wedding day.


It is hard not to think about regrets, not to hesitate. I`m mad at myself- it is supposed to be the happiest day of my life and the only tears ruining my perfect make-up should be tears of joy.

But I am not happy. I am mad. I want to go find Ronald and yell at him until I lose my breath. And then maybe I will feel better.

Actually, I`d done that already, if Ginny, who were supposed to be helping me, didn`t lock the door from the outside, saying that it is for my own good and that she will come for me some time later.

"I know", I murmured to myself, finding a piece of paper and a pen in one of the boxes. The place that I was now was my old room at my parents` place. I was getting ready for my Big Day here, because wedding ceremony was suppoasted to be taking place in the local church, near my old house.

It was easier for me to control myself when I had everything organized and written dawn. Everything in order.

_Why it is a stupid idea:_

_A is for arachnophobia. I can`t possibly relay on a man that is scarred of little spiders. No way._

_B is for bigheaded. Sometimes I wonder if Ron really thinks that is center of the universe or he just acts like that. "Hermione, you knew that I don`t like this color!". And where is some gratefulness, I`m asking!_

_C is for complexes. Yes, you can be arrogant and have complexes in the same time. It is difficult, but Ron manages to do this. I don`t want to tell him that in my opinion he is worth me for the rest of my live, I want him to be convinced in that!_

_D is for dumb. Sorry, truth hurts, but he isn`t the most clever person I know. It makes me want to kill him with a spoon when I have to explain something to him two or three times only to discover that he isn`t listening at all._

_E is for eating. It is amazing how much he can eat without actually vomiting. It makes me sick. If I will have to pay for his food, I will have to get another job._

_F is for facial expressions. Seriously, someone should make him a photo every time he`s scarred or frustrated and sell it to Daily Prophet. Easy way of making money and society would have some fun._

_G is for gallantry. "What gallantry?", someone who knows him may ask. Exactly._

_H is for Harry. I`m sure he likes him more than loves me. Really. _

_I is for irresponsibility. Once again- how can I relay on him? He gets craziest ideas and has to put them in actions right now, right here. Like a child._

_J is for jealousness. "This guy just looked at you, Hermione! What does he think he`s-". And so on, and so on. I can`t meet new people without Ron looking them in the eye as if he could detect some dirty thoughts in their heads._

_K is for kissing. Once right after our kiss he mentioned about this Brown. From that time on I can swear he`s thinking about her every single time. _

_L is for laziness. He won`t do anything from his own free will. I have to ask him one hundred times to wash the dishes and maybe eventually he will listen to me. Or his mother will come and do it for him. And that`s why..._

_M is for mother. His, not mine. She`s over-protective and of course very sweet and nice and all, but I wish for my own life._

_N is for naiveness. You can sell him his own shoes, I swear._

_O is for obstinate. That doesn`t need any further comments. _

_P is for parseltongue. He believes he learned it from Harry and that now they can speak without me understanding them. Too bad that they can`t understand each other either._

_Q is for quidditch. His obsession. He can go on and on about players and games and I will bore to death but say nothing._

_R is for Ronald. He hates it when I call him by his full name, even if it sound better than "Ron"._

_S is for selfishness. It`s surprising that having so many siblings he can still think only about himself. _

_T is for terrible dancer. We can`t go to any place that requires dancing because Ron gets all uncomfortable and embarassed. I don`t even imagine our wedding dance._

_U is for unpredictable. I like my live to be peaceful and have all planed weeks before, but with him it`s impossible. He always has to change something in the last moment and surprise me, even if I hate surprises and he knows that._

_V is for veelas. Yes, I can see how he looks at Fleur, Gabrielle or someone from their family. I`m not blind._

_W is for "Wuthering Heights". He gets mad every time he sees me with that book, asking thousands questions about what can be so interesting in a muggle book. He forgets easily that I am from a muggle family so it`s normal for me. I think he actually doesn`t like books at all._

_Y is for yellow tie. He finds it very fancy and thinks that it is the best for the special occasions. Like our engagement. How I wish it would never see light of the day again..._

_Z is for..._

No, stop it. That`s stupid.

I burned the piece of paper with my wand before Ginny came back with flowers. I didn`t need anything that would remind me of bad parts.

When it comes to Ron, my feelings are more important than my logical reasoning.


End file.
